Updated: Jun 30, 2021
I share my testimony, not to magnify what I have done, but to glorify what God has done WITH what I've done... From bullets flying pass my head I from being shot at, to car wrecks and crashes, to facing the death penalty...why God continued to spare my life over and over again, I didn't know. Hell, I didn't even know my life was even worth saving. The only thing I did know, and the only thing I was sure of was that, on several occasions God had spared my life, and for some reason, kept saving me. Why? I had no idea. I didn't go to Church, I didn't do God's will, I wasn't running around here trying to help guide others in the right way, or trying to help peoples lives--In fact, I was destroying lives. I was selling drugs to mothers and fathers in my community, I was perpetuating the gang lifestyle and mentality among my peers and the young homies coming up after me. I was robb'n and stealin' and shootin' and kill'n, rep'n my section--and thats the "PG" version of events, (I can serve it to you grimy and tell you what its like to hang out the window of an old school wit somethen nice and give it up, or what you'll see posted up in Downtown Seattle wit all the fiends grid'n all night... I can paint the rawest picture and stain your brain with the most lifeless images of the lifestyle...but that's just it, lifeless images of a lifestyle that I blindly lead while leaving a trail of destruction and death, void of purpose and cause) I lived my life totally against God, and by the time I was 18, I was facing the death penalty for killing a cop...and yet God decided to have mercy on me. I sat in the "hole" for 4 years on 23 and 1, and when you're in the hole, and in the hole for as long as I was, you're forced to face your reality for what it really is. Ain't no gettin faded, or gettin drunk, you can't run from your reality through drugs or alcohol. There ain't no distractions. There ain't no TV, the homies ain't with you, its just you, four walls, and your thoughts....and God if you invite Him. It was there, I often tell people, where God raised me. And it was crazy because, while I was yet His enemy, God stretched out His hand and showed me mercy, and while I was yet against Him, He set His face toward me and delivered me from those who sought to kill me. There's a passage in Romans 2:4 that says, its "the goodness of God that leads to repentance." I can attest to that. God had shown me grace and mercy when He had every reason not to... that's what made me lift my head up and look to Him. He sent His servant to deliver a message to me, (my aunt Rajeeah R.I.P.), right after they filed the death noticed against me. She came and told me that The Lord said that He wasn't going to let them do what they wanted to do to me. And just like she said, 3 1/2 yrs. later, God had delivered me. I didn't get the death penalty or life without. Out of five people facing the death noticed, I was the only one who got a release date. I sat in the County Jail for four years facing the death penalty, and if there is one thing that I've absolutely learned about God, it would be that He truly is both Just AND Merciful.... and in an few short years from now I will be on the streets telling of God's goodness. In closing I want to express my deepest remorse and sorrow to the Underwood family that my actions have effected the most. I know that there's nothing that I can ever say that can take away or change the hurt and pain that I've caused, but from the bottom of my heart I am truly am sorry.