Updated: May 22
If we confess our sins,
He is faithful and just
to forgive us our sins
and to cleanse us
from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:9.
I want to thank the community for this public opportunity to bare my soul in true confession.
I have been in prison for over 40 years.
I had just turned 21 when I committed my crimes in 1980 at the Barn Door Tavern in Seattle, Washington. In was an impromptu take-down robbery. My co-defendant, Timothy Pauley, shot and killed two (2) male employees. I inexpertly tied a woman around the throat and she died of asphyxiation. Two (2) others were grievously assaulted.
At that time, I was a thoughtless, uncaring individual, with no empathy or compassion for others. I was a worthless human being with no place in society. I had no right to walk amongst the civilized.
I agree with the victims and their families that it is NOT fair for them to have to continually relive the evil acts I perpetrated on them and the community over 40 years ago. I am very sorry for the victims having to relive the heinous nightmare of the crimes I committed through court hearings, parole hearings clemency hearings, and other forms of bids for release from prison.
I am very sorry for all the crimes I committed and for my appearance here at this moment.
I want to thank the Washington state department of corrections for their recent honest, fair and competent psychiatric evaluation and prison staff concluding I should to be released to the community. Nevertheless, the same department of corrections rejected my release for no valid reason.
I want to thank my beautiful and loving wife, my cherished daughter, and all my supporters for believing in me, and who have invested endless hours to help me navigate life to reach this point in my journey.
I am haunted by my involvement in the senseless murders, assaults and robbery.
Everyday I am on my knees praying for my victims and their families asking for God to show them mercy through His comfort and healing so they might persevere through their trials and tribulations to have a closer relationship with Him.
I am very sorry. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't ask God for forgiveness for my crimes.
I can never even begin to understand the pain of my many victims, their healing process, nor their long arduous journey of living with their loss.
I am genuinely sorry for being involved in the horrendous crimes, and all accompanying acts, perpetrated by me. I was the epitome of evil and all my crimes were atrociously cruel. As a young man I was stupid and I did not understand the potential devastation of my actions.
I did not intend to injure or kill anyone. My sole intent was to steal funds and leave. I should have never be involved from the beginning. I did not envision how such a crime of robbery might turn out that night. I was blind and ignorant with need and greed. As a poor homeless young man, my life was governed by petty crime which escalated into the multiple murders of which I am totally responsible. I was a ruthless criminal with no family and no respect for the dignity of humanity.
I inflicted pain on innocent human beings for no valid reason except to further my morally corrupt interpretation of life. It took many years of searching to eradicate the filth that contaminated my rotten soul.
If someone in my family was killed in the manner in which any of these murders occurred, then I would never want that person released from prison. Again, I fully agree with the victims.
Moreover, I accept full, 100% responsibility for all the crimes committed that night. When I acted, I acted with utter disregard for human life. When I failed to act and remained silent, I gave tacit approval. My silence in the face of evil was in itself evil. When the moment of crisis was upon me I failed to act with clarity of mind, so I am destined to live with the responsibility and the consequences of my failure to act.
I am inclined to be held to a greater level of accountability, for being involved in criminal activity and for my failure to prevent the murders. I possessed no voice of reason, nor a moment of hesitancy to consider consequences. I was grandiose and self-consumed.
40 years ago, at the inception of my incarceration, it was a different time, a different era, I arrived at the state penitentiary in Walla Walla, I lived in a dark place of my soul. I was lonely, alone with no hope and no future. I had nothing left to lose. I was small in stature and I was afraid. I needed to focus on surviving an extremely dangerous environment. As an Asian half-breed, and a loner, I was a target for violence by multiple gangs. At that time, my only aspiration was survival. My convictions and my infraction record served as my credentials for acceptance in the penitentiary world of ruthless cruelty and violent hatred.
The prison inaccurately and improperly labelled me as a white supremacist gang member. I strongly disputed the label to no avail. I was NOT a gang member, and I was not a white supremacist. I have no tattoos. I am a half-breed. White supremacists hate half breeds. I am half-Japanese of the Kikuchi clan. I am married to a white woman with blond hair and blue eyes, and we have a child together. I represent everything white supremacists hate. This improper label caused me immense racial problems with other prisoners.
I felt if people thought I was crazy, unpredictable and dangerous, then I would be safe. I did everything and anything to survive. None of it was right, or proper. After over 40 years, I am still living an awful life in prison.
Grace, mercy and peace.
NOTE FROM FILTHY RAGS OUTREACH:
We have had increased activity on our website because of this blog post by Scott Smith.
We implore you to check out our website www.filthyragsoutreach.org to check out the great work we are doing on the inside prisons in the state of Washington, and the work we are doing helping those releasing from the state of Washington reenter society successfully and with support, to reduce recidivism.
Filthy Rags Outreach