Today is December 19th and I'm sitting in Isolation in prison. I came to Isolation on December 15th after a medical emergency. I became dizzy
I could barely breath. After reporting this I was actually taken to an outside hospital. Upon return I was placed in Isolation and told nothing. To put this in perspective let me tell you that at Airway Heights Prison we have 871 positive cases at Coyote Ridge we have 349 positive cases, at Monroe we have 69 positive cases, at Shelton we have 534 positive cases, at Walla Walla we have 400 positive cases and here at Stafford Creek we have 374 cases. And yesterday an officer (not a nurse) told me I'm positive. Since being in Isolation I've been told nothing, in fact late last night another officer informed me that I cant come out of this room or shower for 7 days. Thank God I've been good to the corrections officers becuz they're the only ones telling me anything.
Before I came to Isolation our compound was on lockdown. We had one death, and apparently we had some mistreatment of some inmates in another unit which resulted in a staff assault. I don't condone assaults of any kind and I don't condone staff assaults becuz that man will receive a PROGRAM (approximately 5 years in the Intensive Management Unit) and an additional 8 years. I know the young brotha and when we get off lockdown I will be going to brotha's to ask WHY didn't someone step in to neutralize that situation. But apparently they had a peaceful protest afterwards to demand covid test and other reasonable accommodations. Thing is, they thought they negotiated, but 2 days later those men were cuffed and taken to IMU and they will probably all be transferred for INCITING A RIOT.
We are in the holiday months and Covid 19 has shaken us to the core. There are some games being played by our prison during the holidays to ruffle feathers. I can tell you first hand that our mailroom has been playing a sick game with our emails. I was receiving all my important emails late. My cousin was in the hospital over Thanksgiving and wrote me before Thanksgiving to tell me. I received the email 5 days later. My sons moms house got shot up, she emailed me. I got the email 6 days later. So we do have people in our prisons who don't care and wants to make our lives miserable and staff always sticks up for other staff. ITS NOT LIKE THE OLD DAYS. Back in the day or prison lieutenants would have investigated these issues and it would have been resolved but the words out that all this stuff including letting the virus in was done on purpose to obtain more Government Funding. Its not my word, I'm just telling you what's out there.
Now there are rumors too. Some idiot put a rumor out that the officers killed a brother on the compound. What's crazy is we on lockdown and cats in my unit came to me with this. While I thought it was sad, I found it hard to believe just becuz I've done enough time and if someone was killed we would've been on serious lockdown for at least a month, but nevertheless its a rumor. We even had a paper print this rumor. NOT COOL.
So let me go backwards to me again. Prior to going to the hospital, I can honestly say that I felt sick and I felt like it could be the end. Just to explain how I was feeling, my nostrils kept taking turns allowing me to breath and my chest kept shaking, I kept feeling like I had something inside me trying to break me. IM VERY MUCH IN TOUCH WITH MY BODY! Then I felt like I had missing oxygen to my brain. If I drank water I would feel dizzy but then feel better for about 30 minutes, so I would spend the day guzzeling water. I couldn't hold food down, an I'm an eater and I kept weighing myself. I could eat and drink and jump on the scale and see not much movement. I couldn't sleep at night and I could not breath and again I could feel something going on and I thought I could even hear the noise. I'M NOT TRIPPIN.
I had finally convinced myself that I was going to lose this battle, so I called my son's mom to say goodbye. When I heard her voice I chickened out. I wanted to cry honestly, but she was making me calm, she started making me laugh and we both spoke about future events. When our time was up I told myself I GUESS I GOTTA KEEP FIGHTING. So I went to my cell and T.D. Jakes was on. I was noddin in and out but T.D. said "somebody listening that's sick but I here to let you now that that's the devil and Gods gone keep you. I KNEW GOD WAS SPEAKING DIRECTLY TO ME. I needed to hear that.
So, today as I'm sitting here writing this I have no complaints, in fact I was reading Exodus last night and how the children of Israel kept murmuring (complaining) so I'm already knowing that this is God's plan. I have to let it unfold. I hear mad people in here complaining. I haven't even contacted my family but I'm not complaining becuz I BELIEVE IM SAFE. What I did not say is that people are dying of this virus. Maybe this is God's place of protection. I do think of others and sometimes for people in the real world our Prison Lives Don't Matter. There's an out of site out of mind mentality in the free world, but our problem is that MEN DIE IN PRISON. Some don't have family so how do we bury them?
Okay so today is the 29th and its been 10 days since I first wrote about my experience with this Virus. Well let me tell ya that its still been a rough ride. My body has been trippin. I've had to sleep with my shirt off and I never sleep with my shirt off unless I'm with a women, but its the only way I could get comfortable. I feel about 80% back. Yesterday was Dec 28th and that date is symbolic of the day my Grandma passed. The 27th was my sons birthday and for Christmas I was allowed to call my mom. I broke the news to her and explained that I didn't want the family to say anything to her becuz I didn't want her worrying, or stressing. I've slept every night with my television on the Trinity Broadcast Network becuz it made it easier for me to fall asleep listening to the word. On the 23rd, I woke up abruptly and I don't know who was on the channel but a message came to me very clear. I NEED TO STOP HOLDING GRUDGES AND START FORGIVING PEOPLE. I woke straight up. I realized that that message too was directly for me. I hold grudges with everybody. If anybody's done wrong by me its hard to forgive. So for 2021 I'm going to start forgiving people. In fact, I just wrote my sons mom a letter. I was holding back, but I decided that I can not move forward in life without processing my feelings. I've been holding on to stuff to long, and I want to free my mind. The thing is, I'm in Isolation and they are scarred to catch the Virus so I'm not allowed to mail anything out until I'm Virus free. I also decided that in 2021 I will no longer gamble. I pretty much never lose but I got to change. I want to be able to look at the man in the mirror and love everything about myself. I really believe that none of these events are by accident. In fact approximately 2 hours ago a porter from my unit slipped thru calling my name. He came to my cell and asked me was I okay. I told him yes and I'm Covid positive. I asked him about everyone else I hang with and he said everyones negative. I couldn't believe it, but then again I can becuz everything is on Gods time. Alphonso always tells me to figure out what Gods trying to tell you. Well, let me tell anyone that has not had Covid. THIS IS SERIOUS. This stuff ain't no joke and its crazy becuz this Virus will beat you down. I take pride in being an athlete, but this Virus put me down. So im now watching the news, I see both sides. I see people on the news complaining about their businesses. I get it, but what about all these people who won't wear a mask and give you the Covid? It really baffles me that our world is so selfish. I don't want my mom, or any other elders in my family getting Covid, yet we have stubborn people willing to spread this stuff. But then, I look at the other side OUR GOVERNORS. How come they are not competent enough to get with business owners and collectively figure out how to implement safeguards so that business owners can kept open a safely operating business? Then I see the same old same old with our Congressional Leaders playing God with peoples lives and trying to control peoples minds over MONEY. I don't even want to go there, but during a serious pandemic like this I just hope that people can see that both sides Republican and Democrats both use God as a convenience, both, then if you watch them on t.v. DO THEY REALLY ACT GODLY OR GOD FEARING? Becuz I watch these guys attack each others faith and tear each group down, then they quit using the word GOD, they quickly switch to the word DEMOCRACY!? If that's what democracy represents, I want no part of that!
I really believe that we all need to open our eyes. Furthermore, I believe God is not done unleashing his wrath. Anyone that's reading this I would strongly advise you to thank God for every day, and every night ask him for another day. I believe that GOD is rattling my tree becuz there were some things in myself that I had to take an honest look at. I believe he gave me this time away to really look at some things becuz ultimately I know I'm chosen to get out and do GOD'S work. And yes, I'm locked up, but I'm free, and most free people are SPIRTUALY INCARCERATED. So check this out. Since I've been in the Isolation, I've had no contact thru my emails. I received 1 Christmas card from my Aunt Mary Crockett. She didn't know I was in Isolation, yet she sent me a card and the card had a small pocketbook called Hope and Comfort from God's Word. These things are not coincidence. Last time I spoke to my Aunt Mary I asked her to pray for me when she goes to church. My Aunt lives in Detroit and she explained how becuz of Covid they doin Church viral. She told me jokingly how now becuz of Covid and the Viral how she knows everybody in Church now. We had a great laugh, but Auntie if you reading this I love you. Today is the 5th I was told I recovered and should be leaving. It was Jan _5th 1990 that I released from the juvenile institution, is this coincident? No! But I'm sadden by what I saw this morning on the news. In California they're only accepting patients they can save. Everyone else dies? So immediately I'm thinking about how these guys just spent like close to 20 billion to run for president, but we can afford to let people die? We sent hundreds of millions trying to impeach the president, but people get to just die. We had money to give stimulus $2000 checks, it didn't pass but they gone sit back while people die. Our on chance in this world is to put it in Gods hand becuz man will let you down every time. I'm leaving here today with possible walking pneumonia, I'm not 100% but I'm Covid free, but the struggle continues. I ask everyone to please pray for my better health. I want to stay and be that difference maker in this world. We must stay in connection with God. He is our only line of defense. Peace and Prayers. ROBB