Please brace yourselves for the truth of what love is and what love is not. The lesson of love is the greatest lesson I have learned on this journey of incarceration, because I killed someone I loved, and in the process found out what love is and WHAT LOVE IS NOT. I've found that Love has to be learned and has to be disciplined, or you will kill what you Love.....
The senseless crime I committed was not love at all, it was mixed frustration, anger, rage, insecurity... and on top of all of that, an experiment with a synthetic drug called spice with a long night of alcohol.
There is not a day that goes by that I don't ask myself... no, initially I was going to say, "there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about what, why, and how this happened", but no...I think about it often, and I think about it deeply. More accurately, instead, there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about the circumstances that brought me to that place. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about how I found myself in that situation and why it all happened. There's not a day that goes by that I don't wish that I would have taken heed to all the warning signs that were there to prevent this from happening. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about the effects of my actions and the pain that I've caused.
Our love had always been a tug of war of love, because prior to us meeting I had already forged a marriage to "the game", and I was caught up in the gang and hustler lifestyle which created a tug-of-war of love between what the streets had taught me and what she was trying to show me. My background was in the streets while her background consisted of Sheriff's offices and Court systems, and in her death I have found out what love is and what love is not.
Our love had always been a tug of war of love, because prior to us meeting I had already forged a marriage to "the game", and I was caught up in the gang and hustler lifestyle which created a tug-of-war of love between what the streets had taught me and what she was trying to show me. My background was in the streets while her background consisted of Sheriff's offices and Court systems, and in her death I have found out what love is and what love is not.
This Death has ended a life but not a relationship nor is Georgia gone to the grave, because her love is living in the SOULS of the Living of those that understand: "passed, but still present". Something Good will come out of all this Bad, and already has, because of the resurrected life that I live today after dying myself on 1-22-11....
"I would have lost heart [and hope, and what love TRULY IS] unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living."--Psalm 27:13
